Finding Your Essential Nature; the Solid Foundation of your Constitution
So you’ve come this far, and by all accounts you’re measuring up – compared to others, you’re living pretty well, you have all the right stuff and you’ve just come back from your regular holiday to the seasonal hotspot.
By anyone’s measure you’re living up to your potential. When you look at where you woke up right this very morning through the lens of your mother or a childhood friend or even a teacher – you’re right on target. Content. Satisfied. Complete… Or maybe not.
Sometimes when you get a moment to yourself you get this feeling that your success is in terms of a pretty narrow and rigid definition. It’s not that existential angst feeling from your teenage years – this is different – it’s more of a gnawing pull, or a even a subtle dread that perhaps – just maybe – things could be different. That maybe doing what everyone expects of you, and meeting their expectations these last twenty or so years isn’t really ringing your bell any longer.
But is there really any other choice?
Being married with a couple of kids and a mortgage – plus you’ve just stepped up into that new role at work… Is this really happening? You might think that this is a phase – or a part of the process – but it has been going on for a while.. But isn’t this just how life is for everyone? Shouldn’t I just get on with it and just do my bit and let this feeling pass – there’s just too much at stake…
You’re conscious of you’re responsibilities – of course, but maybe you are forgetting yourself and finding balance between your own growth and challenge is not so straight forward. Take action – or let it slide?
What Might A Personal Coach Suggest?
So what might a personal coach suggest? How could I help you gain some clarity and alignment around this vague feeling of unease and put it into something concrete and certain to drive your life purpose for the next 90 days – or better yet, next 10 years?
There’s a proven method to peel back your learned behaviours and conditioning from your childhood so you can reveal for yourself exactly what your essential nature is.
It’s a simple question and answer process and you’ll feel a sense of relief and composure upon completing this. It’s a transformational part of the heart-centered personal coaching process. (I’d love the opportunity to share this experience with you – read on for details of how you can share a live experience in my regular webinar.)
Once you have this awareness you will feel different.
Some might describe it as a collapse, or a deep exhale, it’s like coming home and settling into your favourite chair – you just feel settled and at peace. You might also feel a bit torn or raw at the gravity of actually finally knowing. I admit my first time revealing this process was a let down in the sense the mystery was taken away. It was as though I was so attached to not knowing, and the guessing etc, I was comfortable that I would never quite be able to put my finger on it.
But getting clarity and awareness is just the first step. Once the uncertainty of of guessing or mistakenly believing that you are a fixed personality falls away, everything becomes much much clearer. Things drop away, seriously.
It’s no wonder people use the word clarity to describe the feeling. Knowing your own space with exactness does have a real sense of a grounded foundation to it. It’s like you have a solid base to build from, and you’ll feel that calm, grounded confidence. Again, for me it was a real revelation and I needed a few days to process, just to get comfortable with the words and looking at myself in the mirror and being able to accept that I was now an essential nature label/category.
You’ll emerge with a series of words to describe yourself – and these words will be the base motivation behind everything you do – when you do it from an authentic and open place – as opposed to doing things out of expectation or obligation or conditioning. Your essential nature is entirely composed of your core values and beliefs – and these are not learned or taught – they are innate, core components of your being.
Examples of Characters and their Essential Nature
The terms used to describe your essential nature are words like the list below.
fter all, a lifetime of second guessing and proposing and then to actually KNOW – with certainty can pop any delusions or misconceptions.
can step forward and define your strengths and gifts as they exist now – not as something that might have set you apart back in your teens or earlier.
The other big factor stopping us from following your passions are expectations. As we grow up, we start accumulating expectations of our family, friends and the society around us. We often look at the world from others lens. We are conscious of what we are expected to do and how we are expected to behave. Success has a narrow and rigid definition. We often end up living our life for others or as others expect of us. This is very limiting. You need to challenge this conditioning and live your own life. It is important to be conscious of one’s responsibilities towards others and to discharge them fully. However, in that process do not forget yourself. You need to have a balance between living your life and living it for others.